Friday, October 2, 2009

fall is for read mine!

So its sunday night and i just got done with my weekly (or more if needed, which it usually is because i am psycho) garage cleaning therapy session. the house is immaculate, the kids are in bed (still whining). candles are light and alissa and i are trying to get to know one another again. Kaiya just got out of bed and came and flexed her ripped arm muscles. She is gonna be a killer and i am gonna need to buy a gun to fight off all the boys who act like i used to in high school.

I have been making a point of getting out and riding the loop as often as possible (i guess i always do that) as the cold i feel in my bones, tells me that there is not much time left, and friday afternoon was as perfect a day on the bike as i can remember.

When i hit the mouth of american fork canyon, i was already tired, no weak, no exhausted, no spent, no worked, well you get the idea. those close to me know that its been a very hard week emotionally. now i cry easy and i am pretty much a basket case wussie little girl wrapped up in a tough guy costume, but this week was REAL. There was not much left in the tank. but the moment i hit that guard station the pain of emotions can be slain by the pain and burn of lactic acid and sweat in the eyes and burning lungs filled with the rich, minerally smell of fall, decomposing leaves and a dusting of snow not more than a day old. it has a way of suspending life. I dont know what its like to take anti depressants, but if they can do what this canyon does for me, sign me the freak up!

the only negative thing about the ride was the abundance of cars. nobody was rude or scary, i just wanted to be alone in my mountains. I actually was glad to see so many people out there. but please if you are gonna go on a mountain drive in the fall, people please do yourself a favor and ROLL DOWN your windows, the smell IS THE EXPERIENCE.

the colors are going fast, remember when you were a kid and how long summer lasted then it seemed like an eternity before the first snow would come and you could play all day in your snow clothes, soaked to the bone, with freezing hands and a mom who always had something good to eat when you cleaned up. Now life seems to be moving ever faster. Just yesterday it seems the new year was here and i did my best to not fall asleep before midnight and today its october? what year is it? how old am i? My oldest kid is a 2nd grader? Holy shizzle i remember that grade, i remember the girls i had crushes on, i remember the halls of central elementary how they seemed so big, then windsor elementary and how i so badly wanted to be one of the 'older kids' and did you say its freakin october? HOLY SHIZZLE

so as life blows by, dont forget to live. take some pictures, especially of yourself if you can catch one like this beauty here on the left with snot coming out your nose (i may be 32, but there is no way in HADES i am growing up) do something everyday to make yourself smile. I said DO not buy, though i do love shopping as much as any girl (REI). Do something everyday to make those around you happy, or if you cant make them happy at least make them smile. Hug your spouse, kiss you kids, call your dad and tell him thanks for being there and the example that he set. and that he still owes me for breaking mine and jere's GI joe toys! (just joking dad, I REALLY LOVE YOU AND MOM). Do things for the right reasons, you will still have a lot of questions in your mina bout life in general and you may still be psychotic, like me (but its a cool club!!)

MORE THAN ANYTHING, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Its quite liberating. and if your driving a car and you see some spandex wrapped body on top of a bike, give us a break and steer clear. I can only flip so many people off per day :)


James Yvonne and Elise said...

Matt you Rock! Thanks for the positive post.

Linda said...

We experienced the fall colors the lazy way, in the Miata - but at least we had the top down!

Remember the challenges of life can make you stronger - if you let them!

We love you and your family tons!!
Mom & Dad

Kim Ward said...

Matt- I love reading your blog, write more often.

Ashley said...

Thanks for the reminder to live life to the fullest. Will now go out to see the leaves tomorrow.