Tuesday, August 25, 2009

my funeral party and ideas to "go out" in style

So i have been thinking a lot about death lately. not in a morbid way but in a cool, party way.

Let me start off by saying that my funeral better be a party. I tell alissa all the time that i want it to be a party, but for some reason she thinks i am joking, and if you know me, I am always serious. ALWAYS.

I want a good food buffet, some pita and hummus, chai tea, anything with pesto, sweet potato fries, tom ka gai soup...mmmmmmmmm, and some tofu green curry and of course sushi.

I want to be sitting up in my coffin with my eyes OPEN and a big phat smile, Kinda saying "gotcha" i mean honestly, when was the last time you saw that at funeral? Lets celebrate a life well lived. Pump the music, Bob, Phish, John Mayer, Metallica, the Dead, ray Lamontaine, a little Rage, Bboys (travis you better karaoke one for me) and some good country...thats right i said good country like brad paisely and willie nelson. While were at it lets have some races let the kids run around. I wonder if they could rig a gun in my hand and make it look like i was saying "GO" Maybe thats too much to ask of the mortician. But what if we brought in some wax statues...could do a lot of cool stuff with those, but that not very practical and I'm a budget conciouse kinda guy. Cardboard cutouts, now thats the ticket!!

But seriously enough with all this planning of the funeral, the real question is how are you gonna go out? I mean really i want to go out in style. We celebrate life, so cant we celebrate death?

so here are just some ways of dying that "IF" i die, i wouldn't mind dying from.

  1. mountain lion attack
    1. not necessarily funny but for as much time as i spend by myself in the mountains it would be a cool way to go. And look at it this way, i used to want to get a tattoo (glad i didn't, too trendy) but if that sucker didn't kill me i would have some AWESOME SCARS.
  2. leg shaving incident
    1. I know this happens ALL the time. trying to get that hard spot behind your knees, or the tricky spot down by your ankles, and you cut your legs up, but what if its a real bad cut and you cant stop the bleeding, you pass out in the shower hit your head and BAM its over...off to never never land. I guess the one positive aspect of death by leg shaving would be, if I was wearing shorts at the viewing, my legs would look great!!!
  3. hit by a car, but not the normal way.............inside a porta potty
    1. I like this idea because it could create some really awkward conversations after the fact. "hey what the crap happened to matt ward" "dude don't say that, didn't you hear how he died"
  4. flying off a cliff while damning red bull to hell, because it really didn't "give me wings"
    1. Lets be honest here i think for as much sugar free red bull as i drink (how else do you think i can do 3 am workouts) i should have ownership in the company. Maybe if i die this way, then i could have a sweet lawsuit and create a huge trust for my kids and family. Not to worry, i have a pretty sweet trust fund set up already but $12.34 really wont get them that far!
  5. vending machine incident
    1. talk about irony. Rocking that sucker trying to get the grandma's pink sugar cookie that i shouldn't have been eating anyway. then the damn machine falls on me and kills me. Radically poetic, the endurance athletes "achilles heel"...get it haha

but once again these are strictly works in progress, and all the above assume that i might die, when in actuality I won't.

Friday, August 21, 2009

fueling for endurance events

people all the time are asking me what i eat when i do my crazy workouts. In my 'off time' in between workouts i eat pretty freakin good. I have become very disciplined lately and i like the results that i am getting. I do allow my self one small treat per day, around 5-6 in the evening usually after my 2nd workout of the day and before my ride home from work. I used to love treats and still do, but i definitely feel the effects of eating junk food. No mi gusta. Sure i could eat whatever i want, but my performance suffers.

Now when i am working out thats a different story, especially when i am going long. I eat whatever sounds good. In race situations i tend to be very careful so not to upset the balance. After all any time you go for more than 10 hours you are bound to have some sort of stomach problems, but you pull back a little, take in some salt etc and your back on track. Or you throw up and feel better then keep going.

So last night i left work at 8.30 pm and rode for 5.5 hours. Did the alpine loop up american fork, then south fork, then squaw peak and then home out west. I like to eat crazy stuff in training because then if my stomach can take it then, when i am racing its "more trained" I like to call it GUT TRAINING.

this is what i ate last night

lara bars all natural whole food bars 4 of them
one gu razz flavor
4 20oz water bottles with prolite electrolyte
one chocolate ensure
one bagel with egg and sausage from maverick
one half pound pizza flavor hot pocket
one slim fast chocolate shake
one peanut butter cookie
one granola bar
one monster chai hai (caffeine infusion for the late night))

and when i got home at 2am i was starving

and when i woke up at 7.30 am to help get the kids ready for school my stomach felt so empty i could wrap my hands around it and touch both ends and my manorexia side loves that :)

oh the joy of endurance sports.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009



So life has been a wee bit hectic (maybe you read some of my earlier posts, when i was getting institutionalized haha). Working full time, starting a new business, being a dad, husband, endurance athlete etc. So its constant go go go at our house. I have a really hard time relaxing, yep its true, shocker! I will sit in church and think about laundry that i want to fold. I was hanging with travis snyder, his kids and my kids last sunday on his front lawn and all i could think about was going and cleaning my garage(Got that from dad, i think he still vacuums his :-). It drives my wife crazy at times because it, for me, is always ON

So that's life, probably for all of us. But some days just come together and feel pretty damn close to the perfect day.

Here was one of mine.


woke up just before my alarm, giddy like a school girl to go running with garrett white and ryan johnson. 2 very good brothers. the goal was lone peak 16 miles, 6k feet in 5 hours. Didn't happen. We got lost in the dark, found the hamhog trail, got super muddy, scraped and bruised and finally turned around and went up another trail to box elder peak. bush wacked, who knows how long and got to the false summit before turning around to get home before the kids were even awake!

personal note to the mountains.........I love you!


made breakfast for the kids while alissa went on a bike ride. Waffles, healthy and big with strawberries and peaches. Kaiya my 7 year old took it upon herself to vacuum, oooh she knows how to get on my good side!


put marley down for a little nap and fell asleep with her myself. We just got a new bunkbed for her and the bottom is SOOOO comfy with a new fluffy comforter. nice and cool and dark. Woke up feeling like a new woman.


Alissa made a KILLER salad. Honestly the best i have ever had with beets, blueberries, tomatoes and peppers from our garden, and sprouts. There was more to it but i don't remember what...it was beautiful to look at and a joy to devour! After all the metabolic fire was RAGING after my long run. That's half the fun of going long. Today alone i ate almost 9k calories...cool. In running especially in the mountains, the machine probably burns 800 calories per hour.

2.30 pm

Packed up the brood in our clean car. Yes, ever since we got a new car Alissa has humored me and kept it immaculate. It makes me happy just thinking about it!! Headed to the canyon. An absolutely perfect day for it. 80 degrees, healthy snacks, kids playing up on the playground up at Vivian park. then my ma and pa came up and hung with us too. We hardly ever see them for living so close...kinda sucks. They both work so dang hard. Looking forward to a st. george weekend with them. Walked over to the river and threw rocks in for a while, just chillin.

5 pm

Headed to Alissa's brothers house in orem for a family party on her side. More good healthy food. Holding Lyvie in the grass, as she drooled all over my fingers. watching kaiya and taj play barefoot in the street with their cousins. just being kids, not a care in the world. oh to be a little kid again. I guess we all will be like them again when we get old. I just am gonna take myself out before i have to start wearing diapers again. Ride off a cliff up on the alpine and call it good :*)


Went home and bathed the kids while Alissa went out for another workout (running i think, because she biked right after i got home from my run). Sure the kids were crazy and crying and fighting but i LOVE it anyway. I feel like sometimes i just don't ever see them. Bedtime is not my favorite because our kids have as much energy as i do and going to sleep is "such a waste of time" but i lay down with them for awhile and they were eventually out.

9 pm

spent some time with Alissa, i think we watched a movie. too bad we couldn't get a sitter, then we could have gone running again. after all i only did 5hours this morning and then had a nap. I was good to go for at least another 10 miles. Oh well it was still a perfect day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Chase McMillan's bachelor party

So our beloved little chasem is finally married. Now we just gotta get chadly speirs hooked up with a "special spirit."

Thanks goes to Scottie Ward for putting together the little shin dig bachelor party. Its crazy because we all live so close but seldom get together. I guess those of us with the bigger broods hang out a lot less, go figure.

We had ourselves a hell of time. LOTS OF GUNS, a little bit of o'dules, up in Hobble 'crick' canyon. And some pretty sweet entertainment if ya know what i mean.

this is the who's who of those who are whosits in attendance

chad speirs
wade erickson
mike magleby
scottie ward
matt ward
jon russell
brent wilde
jp lewis
(anyone else? i cant remember, give me a break this was like 4 days ago, you dont really expect me to remember past 24 hours do you?)

We came up with a pretty sweet idea so that we will all being able to hang out more and not let those damned responsibilities get in the way of good friendships.

So we are starting a new scouting program. Its called MAN SCOUTS. Once a month to do radical, fun 'learning' type program. YES MAN SCOUTS!!!

Who's in? Here are some ideas for our "Man badges"

shootin' guns
liftin' trucks
speedo waxin'
carbourater overhaulin'
computer networkin'
tailgate partyin'
nulcear physics

WHO's In?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Solo road trip ramblings....

there is something about road tripping that makes me trip out. In a good way, but also in a way that makes me crazy.

I flew into dallas, with my mind realing. The last year or two of my life has been quite the roller coaster. It could be construed as devasting, in the eyes of some, from the financial position, but EPIC in many other ways. But you know i have never been one to really hide anything, so I am not about to start. Not to mention, been down some roads that i know many others are looking at and its not so bad to start over.

Now humility has never really been a strong point of mine, there was a time not too long ago when i remember going to the bank for whatever reason. Knowing i had a lot of money in there i purposely asked the teller what my balances where, just so they would think i was cool. Lame i know.

Well now not so much. I love life, it can be pretty funny at times too. Funny like being punched in the neck and not being able to breath while your assaliant stands over you laughing as you gasp for air. Almost having everything, then having nothing as to things...but thats just it, they are things. Who cares about things. Needs and wants. I want freedom. i want lasting memories, i want space and experience, i wanna be a kick ass dad who takes his kids on amazing trips and coaches them in running and biking. I wanna be the best damn husband around, though thats gonna be tough because i am pretty selfish at times (sorry babe) working on it! I wanna spend the summers in the mountains and the winters in south america. I wanna run and bike MORE!! and maybe everyonce in a while i would like to sleep.

At this point in my life i dont have a lot of regrets. sure i've got a few, we all do right? But damnation why am i so focused on the piece of paper. the damn dollar, when we gotta lotta life to live. "yeah matt I agree but it takes money to live" yeah i know, but guess what ............My cubicle sucks...yeah i said it.........my "offce space" is not where i wanna live my life. So i am doing something about it, and doing it NOW. When i did real estate for my business, i used to say "whats the worst that can happen, we loose everything and start over. as long as they dont take my family and my running shoes." and i say this with a HUGE SMILE, but its not that bad. Sometimes i feel a little humiliation or humble pie. I dont wanna admit defeat. As cleche as this is

A real good friend of mine was saying........." some things we just cant change, there is NOTHING we can do" SO TRUE unfortunately, but that should be our motivation to live even better in the FREAKIN NOW. Do you really want more regrets? Then no matter how bad it hurts, take action now to Be the CHANGE. Be your best. For me thats building a running business, its eating freakin healthly (honestly you wont miss the junk food). Its telling the people that you love, that you LOVE THEM and that they are always on your mind and that they are the reason for living!

So start dreaming....what do you wanna be when you grow up? and then take some action, go outside, run in the dirt, look at the stars in the middle of the mountain of a road trip thru New Mexico by yourself. SHOUT your frustration to the dark sky at night, Cry a little bit...it feels good....listen to a country song and remember how great your kids are. Apologize. Remember people who are gone. Look forward to the future......even though it means pain, there will be joy too. Life is has a polarization. the greater the trajedy the greater the triumph. In my mind I have already written the story of triumph. Will it come true? I sure hope so!!!!