Friday, October 23, 2009

Kaiya turns 8 and i love her so

my baby 'princess from heaven' (thats what her name means in hawaiian) turns 8 today. Lauryn Kaiulani Ward. my firstborn, i remember the day like it was yesterday. she started out in this world a bit stubborn, totally determined and full of cuteness, and always some attitude!!

So far and hopefully she stays that way!!

upside down in the birth canal, wouldnt budge when they tried to turn a couple minutes and a slice or two later, our little kaiya was here. born in hawaii via c-section.

Proud dad? You have no idea.

It was as if the world revolved around us and our new little baby princess. She slept in our closet. Our apartment was made of cinderblocks, minutes (walking) from the beach. I loved going surfing and seeing kaiya in the car seat next to alissa on the beach. EVERYDAY!

i loved taking her for ride on my longboard skateboard with alissa all worried. Holding her against my bare chest at night. I remember one day when the swell was big, waves were double overhead, 12 foot faces or so. Catching a bigger wave than i should have i went right, backside on the wave, got worked, my leash snapped, board washed way down the beach and i was struggling. it was a long time. there came a point after being held down by wave after wave that i really thought i was not gonna make it. i was ready to blow out my air and it was gonna be the deep sleep in the blue water. what killed me the most was the thought of not seeing my baby grow up. now all i want to do is be an amazing dad. Be there for them, everyday!!!

She was walking at 9 months. Loved books from a young age. Always wanting to help her daddy. She always did and still does, LOVES her friends. Amazing at spelling, sensitive of the underdog, responsible.

She now has grown into quite an impressive young lady.

I love and respect her so much, but sometimes i am a butthole of a dad. I get impatient, i am too hard on my little princess. i expect perfection when i shouldnt. Hells bells....kaiya is just like me, once she has her mind dialed into something, that train is nearly impossible to derail

She is responsible, loving and caring. She is starting to be extra clean and I REALLY love that. She is super helpful with her siblings. Very athletic. Her little arms are ripped, she loves ballet and gymnastics and karate and skateboarding and riding her bike while i go running.

Happy Birthday Baby, thanks for letting me learn how to be a dad with you.

first baby, young us.........let the adventure begin!

life was a whole lot simpler then

even when it was just taj, kaiya was a happy big sister, nice job on the hair alissa!!

books, she can never get enough

teach a child to be awesome when they are young and they will always be awesome or so i heard

a very happy girl

with her cousins

curly and cute

kaiya gets her beautiful looks from her beautiful mommy

Frozen hands from playing in the snow

Sweet butt bucket baby

her little arms are already getting naturally ripped from gymnastics

night time hiking learning to be epic in southern utah

disneyland with daddy

i love this picture of kaiya, it captures her spirit and its just beautiful

always goofing off, wonder where she gets it

natural beauty

cute, cute, cute, first day of school

one of kaiya's coolest and most adventurest friends, rivers johnson

I love how kaiya is always watching after her siblings, she is an amazing sister

attitude and looks, i better get a gun for the teenage years

some flower love in hawaii

costa rica, she was too scared to surf with me for reals. i had to settle for this

just after we moved back from hawaii, what were we thinging?

alissa always makes the holidays so fun for the kids

hogle zoo

She has loved books, and why not read naked in your chair?

my cute baby

3 months old at the beach in hawaii where she was born

Monday, October 12, 2009

trail race gear checklist. 100 miles o'fun

Well i am just a couple days away from the pony express 100. a pretty 'easy' 100 miler. just a few friends who go out and run the desert. i did it last year in 23 hours and change, i think. i don't really keep track of that kind of stuff. not too sentimental in that area. i dont think that i have ever saved an award or medal, except for the belt buckles because they are sweet and redneckish.

alissa and the kids are gonna come out for the first few hours and crew for me. should be fun for them to bounce around in the car. still working on getting a crew together for the rest of the race. any sadistic takers?

I know, i know you are thinking to yourself "what a weak ars" "why does he do such easy races?" "why not pick a course that is challenging instead of just an easy 50 miles out and 50 miles back" what can i say? i have been weak sauce this year. new baby, crappy real estate market, life with 4 young kids, a beautiful, patient wife who actually wants to see me sometimes (not exactly sure why, but...............)

so if you are dumb enough to want to do a hundred miler race here is what i take. hopefully it helps. now all you need to do is get outside and train insane amounts and you will be ready to go!! lets be honest its still cheaper than therapy

  • ensure (the old peoples drink) 18 bottles
  • water 3 gallons
  • coke plastic bottles (yep i drink pop on a long run and i LIKE IT!! no diet wussiness here 12 (opened for 24 hours to let out some of the fizz)
  • apples and adams peanut butter none of the skippy or jiff Crap (knife)
  • gu chomps packets 15
  • ready to drink soup 10 (take a baby bottle warmer to heat them up in the car)
  • bananas 3-4
  • nuun electrolyte tabs 3 bottles
  • candy bars 4 (lets be honest i run so i can eat more junkfood)
  • hammer perpetuem (sure i have thrown this up on many races but its still the best stuff on the market)
  • red bull 4 (wings come in handy)
  • chips and salsa
  • avacados (yummy fat and easy to digest)
  • iboprofen
  • salt pills
  • tums
  • benedryl

FEET (an important aspect of running for 100 miles)

  • 3 pairs injinji socks (the merino wool outdoor version)
  • 2 pair smart wools
  • mizuno wave riders
  • orange wave riders
  • go lite storm dragons
  • north face size 14 for swollen feet
  • athletic tape for blisters
  • tincture of benzion (glues tape on, but its a bitch when you rip it off)
  • needles for popping blisters
  • butt paste for greasing up the feet so as not to get blisters in the first place
  • zoot compression socks for after the race (and because they are so dang sexy)


  • smart wool long sleeve
  • ipod or two with good music and some good books to make you cry in the night
  • a speedo for those hot sections of the course and for sexy running
  • body glide lube
  • light gloves
  • warm gloves
  • headlamp
  • handheld flashlight (extra batteries) 2nd light helps with depth perseption
  • hat
  • visor
  • nathan running back pack
  • sunscreen
  • sunglasses
  • camera with full battery
  • hip pack
  • 2 amphipod bottles
  • warmer bellweather jacket for hypothermia/exhaustion stages
  • tights
  • light jacket go lite wisp
  • arm warmers
  • hot hands hand warmers
  • baby wipes
  • folding camp chair
  • bandana for the dust
  • extra short sleeve shirt
  • extra pair of compression shorts

Friday, October 9, 2009

the real reason for living

its true, i write often about my passions. endurance sports specifically biking and running and as much as i love them....there are 4 things that i love more and here they are in chronological order.

(and the pics are unproffesional, but let's be honest so am i)

1. kaiya
2. taj
3. marley
4. livvy


being the oldest cant be easy, especially when your dad is crazy like hers. i am particular to say the least. kaiya is kind, determined, very helpful to alissa and a great big sister. creative and caring, great at spelling and wants to choose the right. when she prays, i am humbled by her sincerity. she's a fast runner and loves to goof around. i need to let her be a kid more and not be so hard on her. I LOVE YOU KAIYA. you will always be my little princess.


this boy is gonna be a lady killer. cute curly hair, HUGE eyes and super sweet. he tells alissa how much he loves her at least 10 times per day. he is incredibly tickle-ish and laughs with his whole body. he's a bit 'wimpy' but i will take that because he is so sweet. I almost have him riding a bike with out training wheels. He gives me the biggest hugs at night and i feel so loved and unjudged by such a great little man. I LOVE YOU TAJ.


marz is such a petite lovely little girl, who loves all things girly. lipstick, necklaces, babies, and her little voice is just mezmerizing to me. its so pretty. i love to hold her when she cries. she speaks so eloquetly for a 2 year old and i love it when she sings to livvy. she's a picky eater when she is eating by herself, but will eat anything as long as mom or dad is feeding her off of our plates. I LOVE YOU LITTLE MARZ.


adoption is truly amazing, because the love that i have for livvy is no less than for my 'own' kids. she is a funny girl, stoneface, as she is a hard nut to crack. she is starting to laugh more and growls at the same time. from one week old, she has slept thru the night. her hair is crazy and her eyes are big and lovely. she gets cuter everyday, and seldom cries, thankfully. I LOVE YOU LIV.

Friday, October 2, 2009

fall is for read mine!

So its sunday night and i just got done with my weekly (or more if needed, which it usually is because i am psycho) garage cleaning therapy session. the house is immaculate, the kids are in bed (still whining). candles are light and alissa and i are trying to get to know one another again. Kaiya just got out of bed and came and flexed her ripped arm muscles. She is gonna be a killer and i am gonna need to buy a gun to fight off all the boys who act like i used to in high school.

I have been making a point of getting out and riding the loop as often as possible (i guess i always do that) as the cold i feel in my bones, tells me that there is not much time left, and friday afternoon was as perfect a day on the bike as i can remember.

When i hit the mouth of american fork canyon, i was already tired, no weak, no exhausted, no spent, no worked, well you get the idea. those close to me know that its been a very hard week emotionally. now i cry easy and i am pretty much a basket case wussie little girl wrapped up in a tough guy costume, but this week was REAL. There was not much left in the tank. but the moment i hit that guard station the pain of emotions can be slain by the pain and burn of lactic acid and sweat in the eyes and burning lungs filled with the rich, minerally smell of fall, decomposing leaves and a dusting of snow not more than a day old. it has a way of suspending life. I dont know what its like to take anti depressants, but if they can do what this canyon does for me, sign me the freak up!

the only negative thing about the ride was the abundance of cars. nobody was rude or scary, i just wanted to be alone in my mountains. I actually was glad to see so many people out there. but please if you are gonna go on a mountain drive in the fall, people please do yourself a favor and ROLL DOWN your windows, the smell IS THE EXPERIENCE.

the colors are going fast, remember when you were a kid and how long summer lasted then it seemed like an eternity before the first snow would come and you could play all day in your snow clothes, soaked to the bone, with freezing hands and a mom who always had something good to eat when you cleaned up. Now life seems to be moving ever faster. Just yesterday it seems the new year was here and i did my best to not fall asleep before midnight and today its october? what year is it? how old am i? My oldest kid is a 2nd grader? Holy shizzle i remember that grade, i remember the girls i had crushes on, i remember the halls of central elementary how they seemed so big, then windsor elementary and how i so badly wanted to be one of the 'older kids' and did you say its freakin october? HOLY SHIZZLE

so as life blows by, dont forget to live. take some pictures, especially of yourself if you can catch one like this beauty here on the left with snot coming out your nose (i may be 32, but there is no way in HADES i am growing up) do something everyday to make yourself smile. I said DO not buy, though i do love shopping as much as any girl (REI). Do something everyday to make those around you happy, or if you cant make them happy at least make them smile. Hug your spouse, kiss you kids, call your dad and tell him thanks for being there and the example that he set. and that he still owes me for breaking mine and jere's GI joe toys! (just joking dad, I REALLY LOVE YOU AND MOM). Do things for the right reasons, you will still have a lot of questions in your mina bout life in general and you may still be psychotic, like me (but its a cool club!!)

MORE THAN ANYTHING, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Its quite liberating. and if your driving a car and you see some spandex wrapped body on top of a bike, give us a break and steer clear. I can only flip so many people off per day :)