Solo road trip ramblings....

there is something about road tripping that makes me trip out. In a good way, but also in a way that makes me crazy.

I flew into dallas, with my mind realing. The last year or two of my life has been quite the roller coaster. It could be construed as devasting, in the eyes of some, from the financial position, but EPIC in many other ways. But you know i have never been one to really hide anything, so I am not about to start. Not to mention, been down some roads that i know many others are looking at and its not so bad to start over.

Now humility has never really been a strong point of mine, there was a time not too long ago when i remember going to the bank for whatever reason. Knowing i had a lot of money in there i purposely asked the teller what my balances where, just so they would think i was cool. Lame i know.

Well now not so much. I love life, it can be pretty funny at times too. Funny like being punched in the neck and not being able to breath while your assaliant stands over you laughing as you gasp for air. Almost having everything, then having nothing as to things...but thats just it, they are things. Who cares about things. Needs and wants. I want freedom. i want lasting memories, i want space and experience, i wanna be a kick ass dad who takes his kids on amazing trips and coaches them in running and biking. I wanna be the best damn husband around, though thats gonna be tough because i am pretty selfish at times (sorry babe) working on it! I wanna spend the summers in the mountains and the winters in south america. I wanna run and bike MORE!! and maybe everyonce in a while i would like to sleep.

At this point in my life i dont have a lot of regrets. sure i've got a few, we all do right? But damnation why am i so focused on the piece of paper. the damn dollar, when we gotta lotta life to live. "yeah matt I agree but it takes money to live" yeah i know, but guess what ............My cubicle sucks...yeah i said it.........my "offce space" is not where i wanna live my life. So i am doing something about it, and doing it NOW. When i did real estate for my business, i used to say "whats the worst that can happen, we loose everything and start over. as long as they dont take my family and my running shoes." and i say this with a HUGE SMILE, but its not that bad. Sometimes i feel a little humiliation or humble pie. I dont wanna admit defeat. As cleche as this is

A real good friend of mine was saying........." some things we just cant change, there is NOTHING we can do" SO TRUE unfortunately, but that should be our motivation to live even better in the FREAKIN NOW. Do you really want more regrets? Then no matter how bad it hurts, take action now to Be the CHANGE. Be your best. For me thats building a running business, its eating freakin healthly (honestly you wont miss the junk food). Its telling the people that you love, that you LOVE THEM and that they are always on your mind and that they are the reason for living!

So start dreaming....what do you wanna be when you grow up? and then take some action, go outside, run in the dirt, look at the stars in the middle of the mountain of a road trip thru New Mexico by yourself. SHOUT your frustration to the dark sky at night, Cry a little bit...it feels good....listen to a country song and remember how great your kids are. Apologize. Remember people who are gone. Look forward to the future......even though it means pain, there will be joy too. Life is has a polarization. the greater the trajedy the greater the triumph. In my mind I have already written the story of triumph. Will it come true? I sure hope so!!!!